| Age | Sources and Pages | Code Number | Quotations | Relevant Key Words, Phrases and Their Code Numbers |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | SS 109. |
43-14-1 |
…He forbade me to speak about my vocation to him until I was seventeen.
It was contrary to human prudence, he said, to have a child of fifteen
enter Carmel. This Carmelite life was, in the eyes of many, a life of
mature reflection, and it would be doing a great wrong to the religious
life to allow an inexperienced child to embrace it. Everybody would be
talking about it, etc., etc. He even said that for him to decide to allow
me to leave would require a
miracle. I saw all reasoning with him was
useless and so I left, my heart plunged into
the most profound bitterness.
My only consolation was prayer. I begged
Jesus to perform the miracle
demanded, since at this price only I'd be able to answer His call. …I knew Jesus was there sleeping in my boat, but the night was so black it was impossible to see Him; nothing gave me any light, not a single flash came to break the dark clouds. No doubt, lightning is a dismal light, but at least if the storm had broken out in earnest I would have been able to see Jesus for one passing moment. But it was night! The dark night of the soul! I felt I was all alone in the garden of Gethsemani like Jesus, and I found no consolation on earth or from heaven; God Himself seemed to have abandoned me…. |
2-14-7 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 5-14-2 (Prayer, Meditation, Contemplation), 29-14-1 (Consolation) |
| 16 | GCI 504, Jan. 7, 1889, LT 76: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
43-16-1 |
How good He is to me, He who will soon be my Fiancee; how
divinely lovable He is when not wanting to allow me
to attach myself to ANY created thing.
He knows well that
if He were to give me a shadow of HAPPINESS, I would attach
myself to it with all my energy, all the strength of my heart,
and this shadow He is refusing me; He prefers leaving me in
darkness to giving me a false light which would not be
Himself!… Since I can't find any creature that contents me,
I want to give all to Jesus, and I don't want to give to
the creature even one atom of my love. My Jesus always makes
me understand that He alone is perfect joy, when He appears
to be absent!… Today more than yesterday, if that were possible, I was deprived of all consolations. I thank Jesus, who finds this good for my soul, and that, perhaps if He were to console me, I would stop at this sweetness; but He wants that all be for Himself!… Well, then, all will be for Him, all, even when I feel I am able to offer nothing; so, just like this evening, I will give Him this nothing! Although Jesus is giving no consolation, He is giving me a peace so great that it is doing me more good!… |
7-16-5 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 11-16-2 (Nothingness), 17-16-2 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 28-16-1 (Peace), 29-16-2 (Consolation), 39-16-3 (Pauline) |
| 16 | GCI 511, Jan. 8, 1889, LT 78: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
43-16-2 |
…The lamb is mistaken in believing that Jesus' toy is not in
darkness! it
is immersed in darkness. Perhaps, and the little lamb agrees with this, this
darkness is light, but in spite of everything it is darkness….
Its only
consolation is a strength and a very great
peace, and, then, it wants to be
as Jesus wills it to be; that is its joy,
otherwise, all is sadness…. If you only knew how great my joy is not to have anything with which to please Jesus!… It is a refined joy (but in no way felt). |
2-16-14 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 16-16-4 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity), 23-16-6 (The Joy of Suffering), 28-16-2 (Peace), 29-16-4 (Consolation), 39-16-5 (Pauline), 41-16-1 (Unfelt Love) |
| 19 | GCII 752 -753, Aug. 15, 1892, LT 135: to Celine. |
43-19-1 |
…And this Beloved instructs my soul, he speaks to it in silence, in
darkness…. Recently, there came a thought to me which I have to tell
my Celine. It was one day when I was thinking of what I could do
to save souls, a word of the gospel gave me a real light. In days
gone by, Jesus said to His disciples when showing them the fields of
ripe corn: “
Lift up your
eyes and see how
the fields are already white
enough to be harvested,” (John 4:35.) and a little later: “
In truth, the harvest
is abundant but the number of laborers is small, ask then the master
of the harvest to send laborers.” (Matthew 9:37-38.) What a
mystery!… Is not Jesus
all-powerful? Are not creatures His who made them? Why, then, does
Jesus say: “Ask the Lord of the harvest that he send some
workers?” Why?… Ah!
it is because Jesus has so incomprehensible a love for us
that He wills that we have a share with Him in the salvation of souls.
He wills to do nothing without us. The Creator of the universe awaits
the prayer of a poor little soul to save other souls redeemed like it
at the price of all His Blood. Our own vocation is not to go out
to harvest the fields of ripe corn. Jesus does not say to us: “Lower
your eyes, look at the fields and go harvest them.” Our mission is
still more sublime. These are the words of Jesus: “
Lift your eyes and
see.” See how in my heaven there are empty places; it is up to you
to fill them, you are my Moses praying on the mountain, ask me for
workers and I shall send them, I await only a prayer, a sigh from
your heart! Is not the apostolate of prayer, so to speak, more elevated than that of the word? Our mission as Carmelites is to form evangelical workers who will save thousands of souls whose mothers we shall be…. |
3-19-1 (Silence, Hidden), 5-19-1 (Prayer, Meditation, Contemplation), 14-19-1 (The Little Way), 16-19-1 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity), 22-19-1 (Salvation of Souls), 40-19-1 (Participation to Salvation) |
| 20 | GCII 801, Jul. 18, 1893, LT 143: to Celine. |
43-20-1 |
…I had to go along quietly in peace and love, doing only what He was asking
me…. But I had a light. St. Teresa says we must maintain love.
The wood is
not within our reach when we are in darkness, in aridities, but at least
are we not obliged to throw little pieces of straw on it? Jesus is really
powerful enough to keep the fire going by Himself. However, He is satisfied
when He sees us put a little fuel on it. This
attentiveness pleases Jesus,
and then He throws on the fire a lot of wood. We do not see it, but we do
feel the
strength of love's warmth. I have
experienced it; when I
am feeling
nothing, when I am INCAPABLE of praying, of practicing virtue, then is the
moment for seeking opportunities,
nothings, which please Jesus more than
mastery of the world or even martyrdom suffered with generosity. For example,
a smile, a friendly word, when I would want to say
nothing, or put on a look
of annoyance, etc., etc. Celine, do you understand? It is not for the purpose of weaving my crown, gaining merits, it is in order to please Jesus…. When I do not have any opportunities, I want at least to tell Him frequently that I love Him; this is not difficult, and it keeps the fire going. Even though this fire of love would seem to me to have gone out, I would like to throw something on it, and Jesus could then relight it. Celine, I am afraid I have not said what I should; perhaps you will think I always do what I am saying. Oh, no! I am not always faithful, but I never get discouraged; I abandon myself into the arms of Jesus. |
4-20-2 (Trust, Confidence, Abandonment), 11-20-1 (Nothingness), 14-20-4 (The Little Way), 17-20-4 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 37-20-1 (Time), |
| 20 | GCII 808- 809, Aug. 2, 1893, LT 145: to Celine. |
43-20-2 |
…Jesus does not will that we find His adorable presence in repose;
He hides
Himself; He wraps Himself in darkness. It was not thus that He acted with
the
crowd of Jews, for we see in the
gospel that the people were CARRIED AWAY
when He was speaking.
Jesus used to charm weak souls with His divine words,
He was trying to make them strong for the day of trial…. But how
small was
the number of Our Lord's friends when He was SILENT before his
judges!…
Oh! what a melody for my heart is this silence of Jesus…. He made Himself
poor that we might be able to give Him love.
He holds out His hand to us like a
beggar so that on the radiant
day of judgment when He will appear
in His glory, He may have us hear those sweet words: “
Come, blessed of
my Father, for I was hungry and you gave to eat; I was thirsty, and you
gave me to drink; I did not know where to lodge, and you gave me a home.
I was in prison, sick, and you helped me.” (Matthew 25:34-36.) It
is Jesus Himself who spoke
these words;
it is He who wants our love, who begs for
it.… He places
Himself, so to speak, at our mercy, He does not want to take anything
unless we give it to Him, and the smallest thing is precious in His
divine eyes…. Jesus is a hidden treasure, an inestimable good which few souls can find, for it is hidden, and the world loves what sparkles. Ah! if Jesus had willed to show Himself to all souls with His ineffable gifts, no doubt there is not one of them that would have despised Him. However, He does not will that we love Him for His gifts, He Himself must be our reward. To find a hidden thing one must hide oneself; our life must then be a mystery. We must be like Jesus, Jesus whose face was hidden…. “Do you want to learn something that may be of use to you?” says the Imitation. “Love to be unknown and accounted for nothing…. And elsewhere; “After you have left everything, you must above all leave yourself; let one man boast of one thing, another of something else; as for you, place your joy only in contempt of yourself.” What peace these words give to the soul, Celine. |
2-20-3 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, ), 3-20-2 (Silence, Hidden), 14-20-5 (The Little Way), 16-20-3 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity), 19-20-1 (The Words of God), 25-20-1 (Glory), 28-20-3 (Peace), 40-20-1 (Participation to Salvation) |
| 21 | GCII 861- 862, Jul. 7, 1894, LT 165: to Celine. |
43-21-1 | …Frequently, we descend into the fertile valleys, where our heart loves to nourish itself, the vast field of the scriptures which has so many times opened before us to pour out its rich treasures in our favor; this vast field seems to us to be a desert, arid and without water….We know no longer where we are; instead of peace and light, we find only turmoil or at least darkness…. But, like the spouse, we know the cause of our trial: our soul is troubled because of the chariots of Aminadab….We are still not as yet in our homeland, and trial must purify us as gold in the crucible…. At times, we believe ourselves abandoned. Alas! the chariots, the vain noises that disturb us, are they within us or outside us? We do not know… but Jesus really knows. He sees our sadness and suddenly His gentle voice makes itself heard, a voice more gentle than the springtime breeze: “ Return, return, my Sulamitess; return, return, that we may look at you!…” (Cant. Chap. 6, v. 12.) What a call is that of the Spouse!… And we were no longer daring even to look at ourselves so much did we consider ourselves without any splendor and adornment; and Jesus calls us, He wants to look at us at His leisure, but He is not alone; with Him, the two other Persons of the Blessed trinity come to take possession of our soul…. Jesus had promised it in days gone by when He was about to reascend to His Father and our Father. He said with ineffable tenderness: “ If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him, and we will make in him our abode.” (John 14:23.) To keep the word of Jesus, that is the sole condition of our happiness, the proof of our love for Him. But what, then, is this word?… It seems to me that the word of Jesus is Himself… He, Jesus, the Word, the Word of God!… In another place, Jesus teaches us that He is the way, the truth, the life. We know, then, what is the Word that we must keep; like Pilate, we shall not ask Jesus: “What is Truth?” We possess Truth. We are keeping Jesus in our hearts!… |
2-21-5 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 14-21-3 (The Little Way), 15-21-1 (Union with Jesus), 19-21-1 (Words of God), 20-21-1 (Truth), 28-21-1 (Peace), 49-21-1 (Trinity) |
| 22 | SS 174. |
43-22-1 | … O Mother, among these ripe sheaves is hidden the little white flower; however, in heaven she will have a voice with which to sing of your gentleness and your virtues which she sees you practice every day in the darkness and the silence of life's exile! |
3-22-1 (Silence, Hidden), 39-22-1 (Pauline) |